In this episode Pam & Sarah discuss:

Their imperfect morning routines.

How to Sarah uses daily affirmations in journaling.

Why Pam doesn’t use affirmations.

How to get into journaling (even if you’ve tried many times before).

Why journaling is a powerful tool for reflection and growth.

The big differences in how Sarah and Pam each journal. The concept of “tiny moments, many times”.

How to bring mindfulness into your day-to-day to create a sense a calm.

How to create space between an emotion and reaction to improve your mental state.

Links, Corrections, and Whatnot

Pam’s journal and fountain pen are from Ferris Wheel Press.

Sarah uses the Five Minute Journal.

Other Ways to Listen & Subscribe

APPLE PODCASTS

SPOTIFY

Or search A Little Bit Easier anywhere you like to get your podcasts.

Transcript

This transcript was generated by AI so please ignore any weird errors. If there is anything really terrible, let us know.

[00:00:00] Pam: You shared a mantra that you’ve been using lately. Can you share that with us and kind of talk about how you came across it or started using it and what it means for you?

[00:00:10] Sarah: Absolutely. So, I can start with my morning routine, which is imperfect.

I have a husband as well, and then I’ve got two kids and a dog. So , those responsibilities tend to show up in the morning. Yeah. Which means my routine is very organic. But I do try. Most mornings I manage a meditation, then I have an app I love and then I have this five minute journal.

Okay. And what I like about it is that it’s short. So the idea is five minutes, it’s split half in the morning and half in the evening. Oh, okay. So, . Yeah. So there’s a couple of questions in the morning as I’m grateful for three things. What would make, so list those three things in that moment, what would make today great.

And the idea here is to write down things that I have some agency in. So not like if it’s beautiful weather, right.

I could write that, but I have zero control. I mean, I guess I do have control over my perspective of what makes beautiful weather, but like what would make you r do ay great if it doesn’t rain?

Something that objectively I have no control over. Yeah. I would try not to write that in, but put, for example okay, I can share. You made my first, my thing I . This is so funny. I read something earlier where I said, stop half-assing things. So I wrote Full heart and full ass in production with Pam.

[00:01:52] Pam: Love it.

[00:01:53] Sarah: And then I said, feel calm and prepared for the evening with the family and have a great second to last class tonight because I’m teaching one of my cohorts, we’re on our second last class, so that’s what would make today great. And it’s, happens to be a mix of business and personal, but all of them are.

things that I have a role in. Yeah. Right. So that’s the second prompt. So the first is, I’m so grateful for then what would make today great. And then daily affirmation and rec and my daily affirmation, affirmations changed, but what I had mentioned to you was that recently I’ll put something in around co-creating my life.

So I’m co-creating my dream life in every moment. .

[00:02:41] Pam: And what does that invoke for you when you say that or when you think that?

It invokes for me that every moment that there are lots of moments. That’s what, that’s one of the things. Every, there’s so many moments, right? Everything is a moment.

And it also invokes for me that everything is an. Right, the univer, like if I’m co-creating, it’s like every single thing I get to draw, choose how I wanna derive meaning from that, whether it’s you know, needing to walk my dog extra that day and are we gonna choose a different route or are we, am I gonna bump into someone and what will I take from that conversation?

Or, wow, I read this article. It made me laugh and then, I shared it with somebody else. Know, taking every single thing that comes as an offer and saying what do I wanna do with this? What do I wanna co-create with? So it really does give me a feeling of

of possibility.

[00:03:46] Sarah: Yeah.

Possibility. So many moments on so many things that I can do. Right? Yeah. So many choices. , even though, ostensibly I’m home alone today working, I, I don’t have a lot of, necessarily a lot of plans. I can still feel the possibility feel all of that. So that’s what I’ve been writing recently for my motto.

[00:04:16] Pam: And have you always felt that way about your choices in life, or is that, And is that a newer feeling?

[00:04:28] Sarah: Yeah, I mean, definitely not. And I don’t always feel that way. Right. I’ll definitely feel scared frequently. I can feel victimy and I feel victim. Me. If things aren’t going well, I have plans and they get derailed by other people or circumstances.

Yeah. I can feel jealous. All those,

all the things, you’ll have everything. Right. So in those moments I’m less connected to that. Yeah. Right. I’m less connected. Yeah. What about you? Do you have, like I was to say to you, okay. What’s your daily affirmation for today?

[00:05:18] Pam: So I don’t have any sort of affirmations.

I journal every morning. I also have my, I think our journals match. I don’t do the five minute, but the color

[00:05:29] Sarah: very interesting.

[00:05:33] Pam: So my morning routine is that I get up, make coffee, and then come sit in here and I journal and it’s just free flowing. I don’t have any prompts, I don’t have anything that I.

Have to write down every day. It’s really my time to get everything outta my head to record things that have happened, positive or negative, whether it’s, any experience that I think is you know, worth writing down or I guess worth is not even a good word cause I will write things in there, like had a good hair day.

Like it can really be anything, but it’s like

[00:06:12] Sarah: That’s worth it though.

[00:06:15] Pam: For me, journaling has two benefits. One is that getting everything out of your head, but the other thing is I love having them to look back on. So being able to look back at like 2019, for instance, when I was so stressed out and so anxious, looking back at what I was writing at the time, that felt like the end of the world, right?

It felt like this is the worst day of my life. Everything is terrible, and I read it now and I. Oh my God, you’re so ridiculous. Right? Like, what you thought was the end of the world is nothing. Like there are times when there are things that I like journaled that I was miserable and I read about it. I’m like, I can’t even remember that now.

So the perspective of, being able to say like, ‘ it’s hard now. , but it won’t always be. And just having that record to be able to look back at like, who was I? And what has changed is so valuable to me. But I will journal things that I’m grateful for. I will you know, journal things that I’m struggling with, whatever that is.

But it’s all very free flowing and I don’t have any daily affirmations. I believe in the power of affirmations because it helps you. Practice what you’re working on or what you want to be conscious of, but it’s not something that I’ve ever integrated into my day. Just like meditation. I believe in it a hundred percent and I know the value of it, but it’s not something that has ever stuck for me in the sense of like I sit down and meditate.

But what I do is I use the practices of meditation throughout my day. So, If you think about like what meditation is for, it’s really about allowing you to let go of thoughts and that they arise in your consciousness and you don’t have to hold onto them. You don’t have to feel. This emotion or believe this thought or believe this story or whatever, it’s like it comes up and you can go, oh yeah, that’s there, and let it go.

And that practice of meditation, if you bring that principle into your every day, you can create that flow of not getting carried away by thoughts or things that arise throughout your day. So, , I actually just had experience of that on Saturday. So Cks birthday was yesterday, so we started birthday celebrations on Saturday.

And , he wanted to have pizza for his birthday, so I went out to pick it up and I. Like on my way over there and my phone loses service for no reason. So I can’t get directions to where the pizza place is. And so I’m like trying to drive and it’s not working and I’m getting mad cause I’m like, stupid phone, like, whenever you need it, it doesn’t work.

And then I finally get the directions and then my Spotify won’t play. And like every, like, I’m like, what? And I’m so furious with this phone. And then I was sitting there and I like catch myself and I. You have a phone that can literally access all of the information in the world, play you the exact song that you wanna play.

Like it is so absurd that you’re so mad about this technology not working for a minute and a half when. You have the power of the world in this little, so I was able to separate that. Like instead of being angry and like having it ruined my night and like just getting carried away by this anger at my technology, I was able to like step out.

This is ridiculous. This is so funny.

So how did you like catch it in the moment and

what did you say to yourself? Yeah, so, three years ago I wouldn’t have been able to do that. I wouldn’t have had. Practice of noticing it and reframing and shifting, but through practice, through developing awareness and being able to really just create that space between having a thought and having a reaction and then letting that reaction carry you away.

It’s really just that. Development of awareness and using the meditation principles every day. And it’s a muscle that the more you do it, the easier it is. And as with so many things in life, just the awareness, like just that half a second of going, this is ridiculous, was all it took. To snap me out of it and to make, actually, I laughed at myself and was like, you’re being silly.

And then it was fine, but it’s not the kind of thing that you just do. All of a sudden you just, I’m gonna change who I am and I’m gonna not get angry about little things. Like, it’s a practice and you have to go, like you, you have to work that muscle and you have to work it into your every day and be able to just develop the ability to have that space between action and reaction.

[00:11:40] Sarah: So I’m really hearing from you that mindfulness, like meditation isn’t a practice, but living mindfully is something that you’ve been permitted to. Yes.

[00:11:52] Pam: Yeah, absolutely. That is, I would say the biggest shift in. How I feel and behave throughout the day was creating that awareness of that every thought that comes through your head doesn’t have to be taken at face value, that you don’t have to.

Get, you don’t have to believe everything that comes into your head. Like if you shouldn’t. You absolutely shouldn’t. You’re .

[00:12:25] Sarah: Alright. Okay. But I wanna, I have a couple questions about journaling cuz you said you free flow. , do you have any constraints? Like, do you say I’m gonna journal for 20 minutes or three pages or

[00:12:35] Pam: nothing?

No. As soon as I put rules on things. , I tend to not do them because then it becomes work. , or it becomes an obligation instead of something that I’m choosing to do.

[00:12:55] Sarah: That makes sense. Makes sense. Yeah. It’s so interesting cuz for some people that’s really motivating to have that. Especially like you can check it off and Yeah.

System and there’s some kind of security in that. And then for others it’s a. It’s a turn off. And it sounds like for you, you’re, you don’t

[00:13:12] Pam: want that? No, I don’t. And it’s funny because I, like most people, I think, tried to journal for years. I would pick it up and I would write for two days and then I would quit.

I’ve got, a million journals that I started and gave up on. And instead of it being something that was regimented, what was a shift for me was actually. Not caring. Not caring what was in it, and not worrying about it following a formula or sounding good or like, what are people gonna think when they read this?

Or am I writing complete crap that no one is ever gonna care about? Like, letting go of all of it and just, my handwriting is terrible and my grammar’s probably terrible and you know, it’s all terrible and that’s great. It’s good for that to be a space where I can just be s.

[00:14:03] Sarah: I love it.

And for that reason, sometimes I’ve had good luck using, in good luck, meaning you know, I, I do it frequently with journaling like a cheaper notebook, like a drugstore, killroy lined paper kind of notebook versus a fancy journal where there’ll be some kind of subconscious pressure to make it sound good and look good.

[00:14:27] Pam: That’s so funny because I had the complete opposite, which is I got a super fancy fountain pen that has ink that matches the cover of the notebook. And I buy these from Canada, actually. I buy them in bulk so that they all match and. I have, know, I it’s all very nice, you know, vegan leather feels really good and the paper’s really, so it’s almost like a luxurious experience.

, but it’s purely for For enjoyment, not for any sort of like, you have to follow this, or you have to write three things you’re grateful about. Like not having any rules because I have the perfectionist tendencies everywhere else. Yeah. That here I just have to be like, Not free. Not perfect.

Yeah. Free .

[00:15:23] Sarah: I love it. Good. Okay, so in your journal you don’t have any rules you don’t write affirmations. And I’m gonna challenge you for just requesting right now, if you were to think of just an affirmation for the day now, full permission, your affirmation can change every day. Yeah. not getting a tattoo, just like, tell me what’s an affirmation today.

Okay. I’m affirmation.

[00:15:47] Pam: Okay, let me think for a second.

So I think that what is important for me right now is to say it’s okay to take time off because. Being the holiday season, it’s really busy for e-commerce. My business is this is the busiest season of the year and it’s really easy for me to get into a cycle where I’m constantly checking stats or, refreshing clients, you numbers and I end up spending a lot of time.

Doing things that aren’t actually of any value at the end of the day. So what I’m really working on right now is I’ve got a to-do list of what my priorities are and once those are done, stepping away and like con , sorry. That’s okay. Consciously limiting. Myself so that I won’t just, so like if I finish my to-do list and it’s only two o’clock, that’s okay.

You don’t have to work six or eight hours a day. If you’ve gotten done everything that needs to get done, go do something else, step away. But I have a lot of long held stories about productivity and about needing to be doing something that. Producing or is of value and not relaxing, not just, sit down and reading a book or whatever.

So, so yeah, it’s okay to take time off, I think is my mantra.

[00:17:50] Sarah: Okay.

[00:17:52] Pam: So earlier you said that inner leadership is taking responsibility for your world. And I think that

a lot of times people don’t recognize how much power they actually have, like how many decisions they can actually make in a day, how many choices they have. And we talked a little bit about. , me being ridiculous and being able to choose to not be angry about my phone not working. There are instances of that happen constantly throughout the day, whether it’s interactions with a boss or your partner or your kids, or know, any even an interaction with yourself.

You do something and you’re like, oh, I’m such an idiot. And then you know, judge yourself for the rest of the day. So I think that is one of the base things that I want people to start to grasp and start to have awareness around that you have so many more choices in a day than you may think that you do.

on, surface level. And that by taking responsibility for those choices and not just kind of letting your day take you away, or letting your emotions take you away, that you can take responsibility for how you’re acting, how you’re reacting, how you’re feeling, how you’re interacting with other people, how you’re engaging with people around you.

That you can start to make those small shifts, those incremental changes in how your day flows and how you feel about what you’re doing and how you’re spending your time doing, or how you’re spending your time, and that, that builds a foundation for you to be able to do all of the higher level. Work that I think a lot of people aspire to or they go to therapy because they want to deal with these big issues.

But you can’t work on the big issues until you’re, until you have that foundation of just recognizing like, oh, I have a choice in this moment. And I think,

[00:20:23] Sarah: Part. . Something that helps me with that is this idea that the outside conditions will never be perfect. It’s never to say that everything is going well and that your boss, isn’t being unreasonable or life isn’t fair for you.

Right. It’s not, life isn’t fair for all people. Yeah. In any way, shape, or form, like equality and equity do not exist. ,

So it’s okay how in that moment, how can I show up and contribute to the situation in a way that I feel that I’m getting what I want out of it, or I’m getting the most out of it, or I’m making the contribution that I want.

I’m being intentional about that moment. So something around those, like there’s, they can be small choices and they can be in awareness that, wow, not all the conditions are what I want them to. and still, how can I, how am I gonna choose to play with and be with and create from whatever is here right now?

[00:21:31] Pam: And I’d like that you just used the word intentional. , because I think that is, that’s the key is. , you are being intentional with your behavior, with how you’re participating. You’re not just Yeah. Flowing around and all over the place and getting carried away by every little thing that happens.

[00:21:55] Sarah: You are. Yeah. You’re not just, you’re not just reacting, you’re creating. Yeah. Right. And so even when you think about your intention, right. It’s okay to take time off. Think about all the small choices. Some would be big like shutting down the computer, but some wouldn’t be as, not big, but wouldn’t be as obvious.

It wouldn’t be as literal. . But it would be changing a perspective about something or saying no to something small. Like so many little big choices and micro choices would go into that. Once you have awareness of. that desire for

[00:22:36] Pam: yourself. , and we’re talking about it like it’s easy, it’s not

it’s possible and it gets easier with practice. It’s not the kind of thing that you just say I’m gonna be intentional today. And magic happens even once you’ve built the. Foundation there or you have that muscle that you can flex and say, I’m gonna be intentional. I’m going to, be present in this choice and participate actively in my life.

That doesn’t mean that it happens every day or in every moment. You have to have awareness of what is my mental state right now? Do I have the capacity to make a decision like this? If. Know, maybe there’s a big conversation that you need to have with someone and you’re like, you’re all worked up about it and you’re gonna, you’re gonna go confront the person.

You need to be able to say like, actually, like, is this the best time for this? Do I have the ability to make this choice right now, to have this intentional? Conversation. Can I delay it until later so that I can be calmer and make a better decision? You know, it’s just because you build the ability to have this presence and make intentional choices doesn’t mean you can do it in every moment.

Maybe you’re just hungry, , know, and it’s not gonna be easy. It’s

[00:24:15] Sarah: so true. What have you found for you? Like you mentioned that the energy management is one aspect. What else have you noticed for you about like what makes it, when is it easier and when is it harder for you to make intentional

[00:24:30] Pam: choices?

Yeah. There’s a lot. So if I am overworked and distracted, it’s much harder for me to. good decisions or intentional decisions. I also have a pattern that I like to, I get a little righteous, like, I am smarter, or You’re being an idiot, or you whatever. And when I’m right. Yeah, I’m right. And so when I’m in that, Thought pattern.

If I react, if I shoot off an email, it is never the right choice. It’s never the right outcome. And I’ve had to learn that through making the mistake many times. So I’ve developed the ability now to recognize like, oh being righteous. I’m feeling better then. And so, I think it’s it’s just those moments when you feel any, like, I think it’s any sort of like amped up energy for me.

If I’m not calm, if I’m

not

[00:25:59] Sarah: like

[00:25:59] Pam: you’re not grounded. Grounded. Yeah. and different things can cause that, whether it’s, work stress or feeling short on time. Any, anything that is really making me get like this, then I’m not going to make good decisions.

[00:26:16] Sarah: Right. Yeah, I, yeah, I mean a hundred percent to everything you’ve said and.

and it, that goes back to what you were saying before about being mindful. Yeah. Being able to ground ourselves or be mindful in the moment and stepping out of that sort of frenetic energy grounding ourselves and then making a choice from that place.

[00:26:40] Pam: Yeah. And I think also having compassion for yourself.

And knowing that. , you are not going to be perfect. You’re going to make choices that in hindsight, you maybe didn’t want to or wasn’t the best choice in the moment or you could be flowing along and doing great and you’re present and you’re making in great decisions and everything is really intentional.

And then you get snapped outta that. For some, something happens and it changes and. Kind of back to the meditation thing. There’s a concept in meditation Buddhism that is short moments many times. Like that’s the idea behind meditation. It’s, it’s not like 10 minutes of bliss that you’re meditating.

It’s your thoughts are constantly coming in and you actually only get a few seconds of. Of not having thoughts. So it’s those short moments of clarity or of a quiet mind many times over that create the benefits that you get from meditation. And the same thing is true about building awareness and making intentional choices.

You, you do them, you have short moments, , many times of. Awareness and intention and presence, and that builds.

[00:28:13] Sarah: I love it. And you’re reminding me of something that I heard recently on a podcast. I forgot who the writer is, but we can look it up and make a note of it.

[00:28:22] Pam: The I and the book was, the

[00:28:25] Sarah: concept is around moments and like memories and What, you what becomes a memorable event crystallized within us forever.

And the example they used was an amusement park and, taking your family to going with your family, to the amusement park and most of the day is spent in line . You’re waiting, you’re, spending a lot of extra money. , like nothing is great quality. You’re waiting. You’re waiting. And then the rollercoaster or ride, you know of your choice is like, I dunno, 60 seconds.

Yeah. Right. Yet that’s the part that you remember. Yeah. And so really we’re not, it’s short moment. , it’s a short moment. And that’s what stands out. And then they use this example of some hotel, actually I think it was in California and it was a motel, but they had, and just a standard motel in most ways.

But they did certain things to elevate the experience. And one of them is they would bring kids a popsicle on like a silver tray. Like a Butler tray or whatever Uhhuh Fancy would come out and deliver. So they just had certain little things like that and the hotel was, sold out and, all these amazing TripAdvisor cuz it would have these special, unique things that, we don’t experience so different concept, but this idea that we’re not going for, perfection.

Like it’s perfect white glove service surprises all the time, or yeah, you’re on the rollercoaster all day. That wouldn’t be sustainable, right? Yet it is these consciously choosing like, this is gonna be exciting or this is gonna be mindful, and then creating those opportunities for ourselves.

Look, seeking those out or creating them.

[00:30:13] Pam: It makes me think of something that I heard also about successful relationships and how one of the indicators of a relationship being successful is if you. , watch them the couple communicate and watch how the person who is supposed to be listening is responding to the other person.

And it’s not, like you’re not, super, animated. It’s little just going . , it’s just like tiny acknowledgements. To the other person that I’m, yes, I’m here with you. Yes, I’m paying attention. It’s those little tiny indicators that, that you are listening to their story no matter how mundane it is.

Yes, and I love all of.

[00:31:13] Sarah: This range of examples of how it’s little things, because when we’re thinking about, the title that we came up with quite organically. Yeah. A little bit easier in thinking, what are small things, that these are all such great examples that are naturally coming up around small, these small experiences and choices can be really powerful.

[00:31:39] Pam: Yeah.